


Beware the Platinum-blonde bombshell [AU]

by Yoshiaki



Series: Their kinda love is ageless [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Beware the Platinum-blonde bombshell [AU], I Don't Even Know, I Tried, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-03 00:30:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21170444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoshiaki/pseuds/Yoshiaki
Summary: Having recently moved to the small town of Dale with his family, Bard joins a community football team one weekend and by the Gods did his teammates warn him to be careful of the platinum-bombshell





	Beware the Platinum-blonde bombshell [AU]

**Author's Note:**

> Wish me luck.
> 
> Disclaimer: If i owned the Hobbit and any of its characters, Peter Jackson & Tolkien would stake me in a open field.
> 
> Also, i apologise in advance for any grammatical errors.
> 
> Kudos & comments are always welcome.

And as I always say; _‘Find a reason to live & never let it go’_

_¬o0o¬_

"It’s crazy I tell ya Bard. The team we’re playing tonight is like a pack o' wolves, attacking ye' even wen ye' don't have the football anymore," Dain was the first to warn him, pulling on his shin guards. Bard swallowed nervously and looked to his friend Thorin who nodded in agreement as he exchanged his work trousers for training pants.

Bard had just joined the local football team of the community, having just moved into Dale with his family after getting a better job offer. He had met Thorin through a local supermarket owner named Bilbo and Bard had been slightly surprised to find out that they were married. "Oh, do come by to the local ground this weekend Mr. Bowman, the local football team could use a new player, plus my husband had been going on about losing to the 'Bombshells'," Bilbo had said, bagging Bard's vegetables. Not wanting to turn down the polite offer, Bard muttered, "Uh-yeah, i'd like that."

And so, Bilbo had introduced him to Thorin as a potential teammate and when the weekend came around, Bard found himself gearing up Thorin's extra football kit--that fitted a little too snuggly on his toned body which consisted of a chest guard, shin guard and helmet--for what could be a possibly bloody match (according to Thorin). The team was made up of the local guys within the city, making it easier for Bard to get to know his neighbours better and perhaps make more friends. But while they got ready at Thorin’s house, Dain was still whining about the opposing team and how ruthless they are. "...en’ last time we played agains' em', one o’ the redheads went fer me balls, i tell ye'," he was saying, the other team members nodding in agreement.

"Uhm..." Bard began nervously, unconsciously cupping his private parts as he imagined that probably happening to him soon. "Uh—w-who are they exactly?” He asked, because maybe knowing their names would ease his tension. Thorin looked to Dain who looked to Robert who looked to Thorin's cousin Dwalin, the tallest of them, but not taller than Bard. "The opposing team is..." Dwalin answered slowly, not bothering to put on a helmet since he made it clear that he liked showing off his tattoos on his bald head when Bard questioned him. "...a group of cousins who are businessmen with their own companies around the world and they all have this weird obsession of growing their hair long. Most of them are redheads but their quarterback is blonde and he's the one you should _really_ avoid at all costs."

Again, Bard found himself swallowing hard, but Dain slapped him on the shoulder, a gesture that was meant to make him calm down but it only riled him up even more.

"Don't worry lad, you'll be fine. The only ting ye' migh' lose is yer tooth, if ye' lucky," he snorted, and Bard inwardly panicked, regretting his decision of joining the team. It seemed like his life was at stake now and he had to survive out there on the field once the game started.

"Alright, Dain that's enough,” Thorin snapped, glaring at his cousin then he looked to Bard with a reassuring look. “Bard, don't worry much, you'll be fine. Just enjoy the game alright?" Thorin said and they made their way to the local ground where the opposing team was already waiting for them. They were already in gear, one of them playing around with the football between his hands. Bard paid no attention to him, for he was looking for the one he was warned gravelly about and he spotted the tall man instantly since he was the only blonde. He was faced away from Bard and the rest of the team, speaking to one of the redheads who kept nodding and looking over at Bard. Bard felt uncomfortable, his heart was beating in his throat and he pulled on his helmet a couple of times to remind himself that he was would be okay. Another redhead suddenly walked over to him and smirked, he was about Bard’s height but somehow his gaze made him much more intimidating.

"I see Thorin brought in another punching bag," he said aloud for his teammates to hear and they all broke into a laughing fit. Bard shot a nervous look at Thorin, he could handle a fight but this was contact sport and he could get hurt without even knowing which redhead (or blonde) knocked him. "He's messing with ya lad," Thorin quickly replied in a reassuring tone. Bard wasn't too convinced, but he didn't say anything either, so he focused on breathing deeply. He spotted the blonde again and he was wearing a helmet now, his teammates stalking closer to the middle of the field where the game was to begin.

"Thorin..." Bard heard the blonde greet as he squatted down to the ground in front of Dain who was next to Bard. He had long slender legs that just went on and on.

"Thranduil..." Thorin grunted in return, squatting next to Bard and facing one of the redheads who had been playing with the football earlier.

Bard was the kicker; Dwalin was the quarterback, Thorin, the tailback, Dain, the fullback, Robert, the flanker and Jack the receiver. Scott and Billy were the cornerbacks and Max was on line of scrimmage with two other guys. Thranduil—as Bard had come to know him—suddenly chuckled and looked straight at Bard. “I see you brought me another victim,” he muttered as the intensity of his icy-blue eyes dug straight into Bard’s soul through the helmet. “Nah, this one is unlike the rest.” Thorin replied then he yelled for the game to begin and Bard found himself backing Dain up. Dain may be short, but he was running like the wind, bypassing the opposition team like they were nothing and scoring the first touchdown.

"Good job Dain but keep it in the circle," Thorin yelled running back into the middle of the field.

"I need Robert and Max here," Thorin called as he crouched down.

The two men came over and Thorin gave them a small pep talk then he dismissed them. Bard was in position behind Dain as the game started again and it got rather intense as the blonde targeted Dain even more. They exchanged a few unpleasant words during the match and Bard broke it up by pulling Dain away and ignoring the blonde. The game continued on with Bard's team 2 points behind the other team and suddenly as he was running with the ball to score a touchdown, the blonde was aimed at him, _jogging_. It was rather odd of him to do so and just as Bard was trying to figure out why that is, the blonde suddenly took off his helmet and bit his lower lip, gaze on Bard.

“Oh fuck!” Bard hissed taking in all that beauty as the world slowed down around him. Those icy-blue eyes, dark thick eyebrows, high cheekbones, long slightly sharp nose, pale ivory skin and pink lips…damn even an angel could never be this beautiful! And then he heard a chorus of “BARD!” before he was aggressively tackled by the blonde to the ground, _hard._

It was like the getting acquainted with the front grill of a speeding 4x4 truck, the impact knocking the wind right out of him.

“Get up, Bard, you’re not broken yet,” Thranduil said, rolling off him and jogging off to rejoin his teammates while Dain loudly noted that he didn’t bother helping Bard up as a sign of good sportsmanship. Bard didn’t dwell much on that and as soon he was on his feet and the game went on again until the Bombshells won.

Dain took the loss badly, grumbling that the Bombshells cheated. "An' we wouldn ‘ave lost if blondie didn' attack Bard fer no reason whatsoever," he was saying, frowning at the smirk Thranduil threw his way when he came over to shake hands with Thorin and the rest of the team. "That was great game, Thorin. We should totally have dinner sometime at my place. My husband told me he had met yours at the local supermarket," he said. Confused, Thorin opened his mouth to ask what Thranduil meant by that when Bard suddenly came up to the blonde, wrapped his arm around his waist and kissed him before whispering, “You were amazing out there 'blondie’ you know that?”

Thorin and the entire team’s eyes and mouths went wide and Thranduil chuckled, clearly amused by their surprise. Yes, perhaps Bard forgot to mention that Thranduil was a part of his family and that he knew a couple of the redheads too.

Bard smiled sheepishly at them. “Oh yeah uhm—this is my husband, Thranduil. I'm sure you know him from work, Thorin." He said unapologetically before he kissed Thranduil once more ignoring the shocked stares of his teammates before they waved goodbye and headed off to the parking lot where Thranduil’s car was parked.

“Well I’ll be,” Dain whispered in shock, a shade of red tinting his cheeks. "He's sleeping with the enemy."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! You are appreciated! - Yoshiaki


End file.
